Trust and theft

Parque Nacional, San Jose

It’s my first day in the capital of Costa Rica, San Jose. A sprawling city that contains 1/3 of the country’s population in its urban palm. After hours of bus rides, street wandering and being utterly lost I make my way to the hostel I’ll be staying at for the next few nights. Soon after dropping of my bags I head to the San Pedro mall to grab some food.

This mall is almost too much. Four stories with a shape of a tic tac toe board, I can barely hear myself think with everything going on. There is a live concert in the main lobby and every store and restaurant has a different song blasting. I can see six different cell phone stores from where I am standing, with a plate of food in my hand and absolutely nowhere to sit in the two stories of tables. I walk and walk and walk, not a single seat open. I am rushed by workers from WENDY’S with certificates and hear cries from the Copa America futbol game playing on all the TV’s. Suddenly, a guy wearing shorts, black boots, a golf shirt and a quicksilver hat approaches me and frantically asks, “Are you American?”

Trust. Without it, humans would be lost. More often than we imagine, we trust our very lives with others. Every time we step into a car, plane or boat.  When we cross the street during a red light or when we step into a doctors office. Any of these situations can be greatly affected by our fellow human beings, and by doing these acts we place a great amount of trust into them. Furthermore, relationships crumble without this trait. A child unquestionably trusts their parents while a baby has no choice in the matter. A marriage cannot be strong and stable without the mutual feeling and I certainly wouldn’t fall backwards onto someone I didn’t think trustworthy.

It is in times when this trust is tested that we make great judgments of character. For someone you can trust will always be needed, always called for in times of need.

“Yeah, could you tell?” I laughed as returned my focus onto my food; nothing could drag me from my hunger. “Great, finally! I’m going to stick to you like a fly on sugar” he says. I laugh again “if you can find me a seat I’ll let you hang around”. We  turn the corner and a man gets up. “HEY, are you done? Can we sit here?” He blurts out. The poor man obviously doesn’t speak any English and gets up with a weird glance and walks away. This guy has to be American. I dive into my food, my first meal since the night before. He tells me his name is Randy. “Look I got the damn thing tattooed on my arm!” He shows me his right arm, ‘well I guess he won’t forget’ I think.

“Man this place is nuts, I’ve been walking around all day and haven’t got anyone to talk to until you”

“I can imagine, I got so lost trying to find my hostel, San Jose is overwhelming”  I respond.

“You won’t believe what happened to me man, I’m still getting a grip on it” I can hear the stress in his voice.

I look up from my sandwich as he wipes the sweat off his brow.
“I got mugged last night, lost everything; my money, passport, everything. The only thing I have left is my plane ticket home, this thing is my holy grail!”

He’s got my attention. Walking around lost got me feeling a bit stressed earlier and would hate to be feeling that way for any extended period of time, nonetheless without all my belongings and not knowing any Spanish. “The worst part is I can’t get into the embassy or anything until I get my passport and paperwork on Monday”, it’s Friday night.

I can see where this conversation is going; this guy needs my help, and probably some money. So I divert the conversation to find out more my fellow American. He has a Italian-American accent, and as he tells me he is a butcher in Florida, he shows me the scars across his fingers and hands. We talk about Costa Rica, his recent divorce and my plans to help research an upcoming book about the country and happiness. “Man that’s great, when I was your age I was a working in the meat section at Albertsons.” But look where you are now I tell him. “I got lucky, I tell you. Met a jew and after we got married she gave me the money to start my own shop and restaurant, I paid her back within 5 years. Now I live in Baton Roca, ever heard of it?” No. “Real expensive, I mean if you drive a shitty car in my neighborhood, you get pulled over” He laughs. He tells me he needs some money to last him until Monday. “I already have a hostel picked out and the money will be here on Monday, I just need to hold off until then, can you help me out?”. Possibly, let’s keep talking I tell him. So we talk about the difference between the US and here, his love for fishing and his plans for his trip. “I’m renting out a boat in Playa Flamingo and staying at the Westin, you have to come out and go on the boat with me.” He says. “No way! I’m staying in playa Potrero, not even a mile away” I say excitedly, fishing on the ocean is on my mind. But I keep the conversation going and he tells me more about his divorce and gives me his email, business number and cell phone number. When I glance down at my watch I see it has been over an hour and his story has held up to every word. More than that I see he looks desperate, a feeling I can relate to with my short encounter with helplessness in San Jose.

“Alright, let’s go upstairs to the ATM.” People looking for a spot to sit are staring at us like hyenas on the hunt. “Thank you so much you are really saving me here, you like prime rib? I’ll send you some every Christmas, I swear.” I laugh and tell him prime rib is okay by me. As we walk up the stairs and across the mall to the ATM I notice how he cuts people off without a glance and speaks very loud English, definitely American. I withdraw $150 and we sit at a yogurt stand overlooking the mall. I keep a little for myself and I give him the rest. We talk some more and make sure we have the right info for contact. He thanks me a few more times  and heads off, calling my name as he walks down the stairs. I sit a while longer feeling good about helping someone that was in need, never wanting to be in that position without some help.

Well that happened a week ago. Now that my trip is over I look up his info. His address shows up on Google Maps and his phone number works but no one answers. So I look up his name some more, Randy P, look it up on Google if you like. The first link makes my heart stop. His real name is Randy G and he has a violent history of sexual assault, false imprisonment and robbery. He goes by an alias that he told me. I look on another site, I can’t believe what I’m reading,  I’ve been hustled. Almost word to word others recall his story of a traveler in Costa Rica that had been mugged and needed a little money. They call him a smooth talker and cite his tattoo on his right arm. Some lost $50, others over $200. I sunk into the couch and anger and deceit filled my mind. How could he do that? He knew I was a student short on money. All the details, the passion, the accent, everything was a part of his show. The best liar I have ever met, this man tricked me and used my good intentions against me.

Trust. Something we all rely on daily. How can we ever trust someone completely? What happens when we are betrayed on this aspect of human relationships? I trusted this man by his word and his stories, as I others have trusted me when I tell them I lost my student ID or my movie ticket.  Without trust there is no love, without trust you cannot know yourself. Trust is a big risk, a risk required for joy and a risk that can end in shatters. But as an athlete risk their bodies for their passion, I risk trust in the love of others. If I decide to not trust others, I cannot trust myself. I will not trust every single person, as for all the good souls out and about there are the dark ones too. But that is a risk I am willing to take, to form relationships that require trust and give others the respect that comes with it. Because without real relationships and real trust, how will I ever grow? How will I ever live fully? There are lessons for every action, some require pain, and others do not. This was an experience I will not forget. I could never look someone in the eyes and lie to them for an hour and take their money. But not everyone knows themselves, not everyone believes in trust.